Still pregnant... and some completely random thoughts

The ultrasound today went well. The baby is measuring where it's supposed to be and its heart is beating away. And as my doctor says, it looks more like a person and less like a cashew now. He thinks everything should be fine from here on out and has released me to standard prenatal care, although he recommends I see an OB and not a midwife like I did with my last pregnancy.
I will miss him. I guess there's always go around #3 if I decide I have the strength to make it that far...

And now for a couple of completely random thoughts based on my recent experience:

Has anyone ever told you something along the lines that there is a little soul out there just waiting for you who will find you when the time is right? After I had what I thought was a miscarriage (and I suppose could have indeed been a miscarriage of a 2nd baby although I'll never know) I decided that that was BS. Because what happens if you miscarry? The little soul decides after it has gotten to know you a bit to cut and run because you're too freaky and not really what it had in mind when seeking parents? Or does it just decide that it will hang out with you as a little guardian angel soul instead of becoming a person? And, to be quite honest with you, I just can't bear to think that what came out of me and I flushed down the toilet had a soul. Because it didn't look like it had a soul, and I would feel even crappier than I already do about not digging it out of a gas station toilet if it did. Once a long time ago when somebody said that to me I thought it was kind of sweet, but now I've officially decided the soul comes later as the pregnancy progresses and it gets to know you and long after it has come into the world and continues to learn. Don't we all hope that our souls continue to grow and expand and change?

And to end on a lighter note - if you ever have to send anyone to the store to buy pads for you, keep in mind that there are many many different variations. If you're not into the diaper feeling, make sure to specify thin, and don't go assuming that all pads have wings, because they just don't (is there really anybody out there who doesn't want wings?) , and if you are not a size 14 or above, make sure to check the packaging, because they make pads specifically for bigger girls. I'm sure that that is an invention a long time in coming, because lord knows we tend to live in a society that assumes everyone is a size 2; but if you are an 8/10 like myself, they are just way too big, and that can make a girl very surly.

Sorry for the random post. Thanks for your kind words. I'll be hovering around.